Dear John,
I’m afraid that if I have to sit through another dinner listening to you smack, I might smash the wine glass over the table and shove shards into my ears. It’s the most offensive sound, a blemish on earth.
John, I refuse to believe this has never been brought to your attention. Surprised your parents didn’t toss you onto the streets I suppose your chewing might have scared even the wolves. Therefore, I can only assume that you are aware and continue this behaviour regardless.
I cannot be with a man so stuck in his ways.
Kindly,
Beth.
ramblings
This Dear John letter was written for and rejected by Rat Bag Lit. This was an interesting challenge as I’ve never written a Dear John letter – some googling was required! – and it had to be exactly 100 words – where some assumptions about whether or not the salutations count as word count. Eventually, I decided not to be a weenie and count it!
This was a fun little exercise and I’m thinking I should go and find more little writing challenges to submit to.
Feedback
Reader 1:
Same, sister. I literally just told someone tonight, “I love you, but if you don’t stop chewing ice, I’m going to have to murder you.” They stopped. I feel this in my soul, and suspect others might too. I particularly relished the line about shoving shards of glass in your ears. If only we could, Beth. If only we could.
Reader 2:
Why weren’t you out of there at the first dinner filled with lip smacking? This is really on you, kiddo.
leigh ann 
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