leigh ann

Cheers to surviving the first month of the new year folks. Who thought we would have made it this far.

I feel like this month has been good to me. In comparison to some of the months before.

I’ve been surprisingly active on this website over the past month – updating my portfolio and making random posts about anything including video games.

Speaking of my venture on Flame in the Flood was going really good for a hot minute. I had a fully upgraded raft and was cruising for a bit but I hit a dry spell food wise because I couldn’t find any saplings and ran out of food. I made it 50 plus days – half my goal. So I still got a ways to go. I did also accidentally start a campaign and make it all the way to the end.

January can be summed up to cats, reading, and gaming.

I’m so glad to be getting back into reading. I’m trying to reduce my screen time by a lot – especially given the state of the world as it is. I fee like every time I open up any social media platform isn’t flashbanging me with information I’m not prepared to see. This is not good for my unwell and fragile mind. There’s a reason the news used to come on at 7 o’clock daily. There was a dedicated time you could prepare your headspace to see the worst of the world. Now I go to find a friend’s book review and because the gram doesn’t show you people you follow first anymore it’s videos of the worst of the world. And I don’t know how you just bounce back from that to go finish looking up a book review? Personally, I think you can’t.

So screentime reduction is being worked on.

Writing is taking more of the minute to come back onto the burner. I just feel so busy between work and therapy (which I started forreal by the way – pat on the back). By the time get at the end of most days I just want to chill out. Hence all the gaming.

Gaming does not mean screentime reduction but it does mean I’m being actively engaged during screentime.

Arknights Endfield dropped this month and honestly my entire household has been locked in. My favourite operator right now has been be Xaihi – she literally so pretty I can ignore the zealotry.

I’m really itching to pull Ember. Yvonne I could live with or without but Ember is sooooooooo cool looking. I think it’s her outfit that puts her above Yvonne on the need to pull o meter for me.

The thing about gaming is that it does the job of keeping me from mindless doomscrolling while also providing the entertainment that I think social media provides. I put three hours into Endfield the other day I didn’t have my usual “OH MY GOD I’M MISSING THE FUCK OUT” panic. I’ve felt that often while trying to enjoy downtime. Especially if I’m not spending my free time writing. Which I feel like I should be doing. All the time.

In terms of writing I have some news that I’m withholding for the time being but there will be a update about it later. Incase you missed it, I did update my portfolio because I got the news that carrion got shortlisted for the john lent award. This was my second time submitting to the contest and not placing, or seeing any other Okanagan College students place, last year bummed me out. Then I ended up working on the book for the guy who did win but that’s another update to my portfolio coming.

I’ve already resubmitted carrion to yolk so fingers crossed. I’m feeling good about this one. Hearing the feedback from John Lent really was a confidence booster.

Writing things outside of the usual shape, size, and scope of what’s expected is always a risky way to go. I don’t think I’ll ever be the poet that write in iambic pentameter or within a close form. My poems are loose, my meaning suggestions. Sometimes I don’t even know where I’m going until I get there. If I get there. I got lines sitting my journals from so long ago that sometimes I’ll add to and rewrite. Same goes for stories.

Also, I got some notes on journals. Back in November I started keeping an “everything” journal using my old recycled journal. I was VERY inconsistent with it still, despite making up my mind to use it. But this month I’ve really decided to go ham on using it. Even if it’s just scribbling down additions and subtractions.

I’ve been keeping my schedule in it. I’ve been writing notes. Lines that pop into my head. And even giving junk journaling a shot.

Bit my bit I’m getting over this feeling of never using what I have because I’m saving it from for unknown thing that I’ll know when it use it when it comes around.

In February I’m looking forward to more writing, more reading, more gaming, less social media, less doomscrolling, less time losing time.

A friend and I just exchanged addressed so I’m going to actively sit down and write out letters and mail them the old fashioned way.

When I hop on my phone and computer I want my time to be intentional. To have a purpose. I want to spend more time creating. Hanging with the people I love. Taking cute pictures of the cats.